Chicken Intervention
by Pythian
Summary: The Brotherhood use an unorthodox method of getting out of school that doesn't quite work. Rated for presumed alcohol abuse.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own X-Men evolution or any of the characters in it. It belongs to Marvel and KidsWb. 

Chicken Intervention 

"Man, I don't wanna go to school today," Todd grumbled, "but the thing is, we can't afford any more skip days." 

The Brotherhood were at their house, lounging around in the den before they had to go to school. And, as always, they were planning on a way of not going. 

"I hear ya, Toad," Lance sighed, thinking desperately of a way to get out of it. "Hmm. Where's Pietro? He's pretty good of thinking up stuff like this." 

"Funny you should say that," Pietro said as he zipped into the room. In his hands were a pair of collars, one of which was labeled "Number One," the other was labeled "Number Three." 

"Hey man, I might not be smart, but isn't two in between one and three?" Freddy asked the speed demon. "Or is it four...? Man, this math stuff's hard." 

"Well, yes, but I've got a plan. Thing is, I can't tell you guys." 

Lance got up and moved toward Pietro. "Spill it, Pietro, or you'll regret it." 

Pietro smiled weakly in an attempt to calm down the rock-tumbler. "Well, since you asked so nicely, I suppose I'll tell you. Have you guys looked in the backyard recently?" 

"Huh. Now that you mention it, I haven't," Todd said, as he, Freddy, and Lance walked to the window. 

"What the...?" Toad started. 

"PIETRO!!" Lance shouted. 

"Ooh! Chickens!" Freddy said happily. "I love chickens!" 

Sure enough, in the back there was a pair of chickens, tethered to the tree outside. 

"Pietro...WHY ARE THERE CHICKENS IN OUR BACKYARD!?!" Lance screamed. 

"Well, you guys said you didn't want to go to school, right?" Pietro began. 

"Yea..." Todd said. Then he looked at Pietro. "Oh, jeez." 

"Right! We're bringing them to school!" the speedster said. "We'll put the collars on the chickens, and when they get found, the principal will have to close the school so they can find chicken number two!" 

"Which conveniently doensn't exist," Lance finished up the rest. "Well, I can't say that it's unoriginal..." 

"_And_ it just might get us out of school," Freddy said. 

"I ain't even gonna ask where you got 'em, yo," Todd sighed. "Well, we might as well." 

* * *

Two hours later, Kitty and Rogue were all in a boring math class. "So you see, by finding the cosine of this angle you can..." the teacher droned on. 

"I wish something interesting would happen in this class," Kitty grumbled to Rogue. 

"Tell me about it," Rogue responded. "This is so boring. I wish--" 

"Cluck cluck." The two girls' heads whipped around as they looked at the open door. There was a chicken, wearing a collar that said "Number One," that was frantically pecking at the door. 

The teacher turned around to look at the chicken. She then put her fingers to her forehead, indicating that she had a massive headache coming her way. "Students, would any of you know why there is a chicken in my classroom?" 

At that point, Principal Kelly walked into the room. "Aha! Another one! But..." he looked at the chicken's collar. "Hmm. Where's number two?" 

He looked around accusingly at the room. "Whoever brought the chickens in, I will find you. I WILL FIND YOU! SO 'FESS UP NOW!" 

The teacher looked at Kelly, the students, then back to Kelly again. "Ok, Mr. Kelly, have you been at the liquor closet again? Maybe I should bring you to the nurse..." 

"Yes the nurse..." Kelly sighed. "Yes. She can give me the purple pills...they make me happy..." 

"That's right," the teacher said. "Happy good. Students, let me escort the Principal to the nurse's office...hopefully she can sober him up." 

"That was weird," Kitty said, scratching her head in puzzlement. "I didn't know that the principal was an alcoholic." 

"He'd need to be," Rogue grumbled. "To keep his sanity in this place, he would need to be." 

At lunchtime, the Brotherhood was sitting together, thorougly disappointed. "This didn't work out at all, yo," Todd said. 

"Yeah, well, we had an interesting interuption in English today," Pietro chuckled. "I threw chicken feed in the teacher's hair." 

"Pietro..." Lance said in a warning tone. 

"It was worth it!" Pietro laughed. 

Principal Kelly walked up to a podium and made an announcement. "If any of you can find Chicken Number Two, please tell me or another teacher! We can't have chickens running loose in our hallway!" 

"Well, at least they think there's another one," Lance sighed. "That part of the plan worked." 

"Hey you!" some voice called out. A guy dressed in a farming outfit walked up to Principal Kelly. 

"You are..?" Kelly asked. 

"I'm Farmer John, an' you done stole my chickens!" the farmer accused Kelly. 

"No, sir, I..." 

"Sure! Yer prolly the one who done stole mah cows an' ran off with mah wife!" 

"No sir, I can assure you that I wouldn't--" 

The farmer wound up and punched Principal Kelly, and proceeded to jump on top of him and slug him. The entire school was torn between amusement and shock. The Brotherhood shared a knowing grin, then lounged back. 

"Another normal day here at Bayville High," Pietro sighed. 

"Hey, it was worth coming here today," Lance said with a chuckle as he watched Kelly get his butt kicked. "Yeah, it was definitely worth it." 

In a crumpled heap near the podium, Kelly sighed. "I hate my life." 


End file.
